Guilds/Kingdom of Ra/Deep - Revision history

Choltai at 20:12, 5 December 2009

2009-12-05T20:12:31Z

Choltai at 20:11, 5 December 2009

2009-12-05T20:11:29Z

Choltai at 20:00, 5 December 2009

2009-12-05T20:00:47Z

Choltai at 07:18, 5 December 2009

2009-12-05T07:18:41Z

Choltai at 07:17, 5 December 2009

2009-12-05T07:17:59Z

Choltai at 07:16, 5 December 2009

2009-12-05T07:16:21Z

Choltai at 07:04, 5 December 2009

2009-12-05T07:04:24Z

Choltai at 06:41, 5 December 2009

2009-12-05T06:41:05Z

Choltai: New page: "Choltai?" he called out, puzzled when he saw nobody nearby to have called his name. All about him was the nearly ripe barley fields and the empty hills of green beyond that. Isolated in...

2009-12-05T06:29:45Z

New page: "Choltai?" he called out, puzzled when he saw nobody nearby to have called his name. All about him was the nearly ripe barley fields and the empty hills of green beyond that. Isolated in...

New page

"Choltai?" he called out, puzzled when he saw nobody nearby to have called his name. All about him was the nearly ripe barley fields and the empty hills of green beyond that. Isolated in a remote oasis of the eastern desert, visitors seldom came to their home and never without being seen long before their arrival. Carefully he scanned the hills thinking perhaps he had caught the last tendrils of a shouted name from afar but they were empty. Then he grinned a devilish grin as the obvious answer took hold and he thought of his beautiful wife. It would be like her to hide in the tall stalks and tease him, her emerald green eyes sparkling in fun and amusement. She knew soft whispers from her full cherry red lips carried on the wind would drive him crazy and he would abandon the fields to chase her through the fields and hills of their homestead.

"Choltai, my sweet and wonderful wife, I know you are out there but I do not have time to play today. If the weeds are not taken care of, the crops will be ruined. I promise tonight I will be attentive. Perhaps after a cooling swim, we will share a light dinner on the shore of our lake and watch the stars as they dance across the midnight sky."

He listened carefully and watched the movement of the barley for signs of her, but there were no hints, no flashes of red or blue silks, and no other indications as to where she might be hiding. He walked a few steps to check a suspicious tremble of the barly but it was nothing. He rubbed his chin in thought, the close cropped beard making a tight, thin line along his jaw until it filled out to cover his chin and upper lip.

She was playing a serious game today and would not be easy to flush out or convince to postpone. He couldn't help but notice his heart was beating a bit faster at the thought of her, but he really did need to get the work done. He walked back to his place in the field and returned to his weeding. Slowly his mind drifted from thoughts of the farm, the multitude of chores before him and even his loving wife, emptying of any thoughts as his arms mechanically began to weed.

"Klax." His name was spoken louder, almost at his shoulder, but still it was quiet. His head bolted up suddenly, pulled back to the hot and dusty fields. He was sure her attempt to disguise her voice was meant to sound mysterious and distant but he could tell she was nearby. It was unlike her to drag this out so and he wanted to play at her own game and ignore her, making her come out to run and throw her arms around his neck before he noticed her. He would stick to his weeding until then but he also knew in the end it would be hopeless. With deliberate actions, he pretended to weed again, the blade clomping into the dirt with monotonous regularity, small shuffling steps moving him forward every few strokes.

He suddenly dropped the hoe and spun, taking a few quick steps, his arms ready to grab her before she could run, but she wasn't there. He searched quickly, running quickly from place to place, sure she was there , giggling at her cleverness and his fumbling. Nothing. He stopped and studied the fields, weeding finally and totally gone from his mind.

He laughed and cried out to her, "Ok, YOU WIN! But when I catch you, you will pay double my hot blooded minx. You will have to visit the alter an extra time tonight and we will have to pray we get one more day to weed." Klax stood legs apart with his hands on his narrow hips, waiting for her to bolt and for the chase to begin, but he waited and waited for nothing.

"Come Choltai," he called out. "The fun in this game is running thin. Why do you torture me so? Shall I weed our fields today or not?"

As he watched and waited for her to rise the breeze abruptly and completely stopped, the palms swaying and even the barley stopped moving. It was odd and a strange feeling began to wash over him. Nothing moved and nothing sounded as a terrible, heavy hush covered the land. Even the ever present buzzing of the insects ceased and the quiet filled his ears as he listened, waiting to hear anything. He looked up, searching for signs of a pending desert storm but the sky was a deep cloudless blue, the white orb of the sun hanging directly overhead.

"Klax." His name was spoken with a voice familiar and yet not, a tone with more insistence in it, almost a command. He spun about, knowing the person must be there behind him but all he saw was a filed of barley.

"Friend" he called out, "I hear you call my name but I cannot find you. Speak and I will greet you." Klax took a few steps in a random direction, his arms open as he looked all around.

Klax stood expectantly but he still could see nothing out of the ordinary. The fine hairs on his neck raised and his flesh tingled, a sixth sense of impending danger that had served him very well for years. Carefully he bent to retrieve his hoe without lowering his eyes, holding the gopher wood pole across his chest like a footman’s staff at the ready. If the voice was not of a friend, then likely a voice of an enemy and so he prepared. He stood at the ready, feeling, sensing while his hand griped the shaft tightly but all he could feel was the heat of the sun on his head, back and shoulders.

He squinted into the distance, the bright glare of the sun reflecting off the distant sand dunes hurting his eyes with the glare. The heat from above seemed to slowly grow greater as he stood in his field, the light getting brighter and brighter. It felt like the very sun was moving down and closer to him. The heat and brightness had grown enough in his mind that he finally lifted his eyes up from the hills to verify the sun had not lowered over his head and found the light was more than he could shield with his hand. The heat quickly grew hotter into a heat that was more intense than the forge of his compound, burning his back and shoulders. The light was so intense that closed eyes were not enough to shut out the burning rays. The heat was incredible and he fell to his knees and placed his hands over his eyes to shut out the light. His eyes burned with an intense searing white light that bored through his hands and eyelids and into his head. So bright was the light he was forced to lower his head to the ground and place his arms over his face, his eyes buried in the crook of his elbow.

“Klax!” The ground trembled with the sound of his name, his very bones quivered. “Klax, I am that gave the land of Egypt. I am that gave the sky above and the waters of the Nile. I am that gave you breath. Hear me and obey.”

“What would you have of me?” Klax cried out, lifting one hand out in supplication.

"The people of Egypt have grown scattered and few in this land of milk and honey that I gave them, forgetting the land of their fathers and the gods. They grow quiet and falter in their glory and have abandoned their purpose. I grow dismayed and disappointed in them.”

“My wife and I have not forgotten!” Klax cried out in protest. “We toil in brick and flax daily, following the paths set before us. Our Oasis does well and lacks little to the glory of the gods. We have tried to please, but grant us time and we will redouble our efforts and build you a grand temple.”

“NO!“ the answer came down on him as a physical blow, the impact nearly driving him flat to the ground. “All of Egypt is my temple and you have laid it to waste and abandonment. I see nothing but empty houses, vacant alters and crumbling buildings.”

“No?” Klax replied in questioning and trembling voice. “Then what can we do? We build all that we can. What would appease your anger and bring us once more your approval and blessing?”
“You will establish for me a new Kingdom of Ra. I give to you the headwaters of the Nile and all the empty and abandoned lands and resources thereabouts. Gather your wife as your queen, bring your sheep and camels and all your household goods and travel back to the beginning. There build a city within my kingdom, a city to be known as one of equality for all. Temples and Obelisks, owers to bring water to the fields, mines, quarries and ovens, trades of all types and homes of all sizes. Once more fields of green and gold will cover the land. Each will have a position within the kingdom as gauged by their efforts, but none shall be banned or shunned for lack of speed. Each citizen shall contribute according to their stations and skills and be called the Children of Ra.”
“But I am not a Prince of Egypt to found a kingdom, nor of one of the great families of Egypt that can trace their history in Egypt to the beginning of time. I am nothing of import, neither of birth or gold. I do not care for great crowds and social extravaganzas. Great one, I am nothing but a hermit of the deep desert, happy in my solitude. I cannot do this.”
“You shall establish a new kingdom where the excitement and dedication of the citizens will sing and ring in the air, a pleasing sound to my ears.
“I am not worthy of this. I am not ready. They will scoff or call us heretics. We will be charged as rebels, greedy or power crazed . They will say we overstep, no, trample on the history and law of the land.”
“Klax, You are a weaver of stories, and teller of tales. In those tales I have heard your passion of belief and give thought to my anger and disapointment. You remind me of what could be, of what I intended. I have looked into your heart, and seen your visions. Dream of my kingdom and then build it.”
“But is too much! If I work from dusk to dawn and then dawn to dusk, it would be a task greater than I could do. It would kill my wife in the trying, her hands broken and bleeding and then I would die of a broken heart. Please give this task to another.”
“I have chosen you and your wife of all those of Egypt. Do you have so little faith? I will send you aid Klax. To others I will give a similar visions of a new Kingdom. The worthy, the true of heart and spirit will hear and they will come. They will come to be nobles, councilors, ministers, tradesman and peasants of the kingdom. Others that you find worthy, you will invite. One will invite another and the word will spread and once more a kingdom worthy of my name shall shine in the land of Egypt.”
“And once they have come, we may return to the quiet of the Oasis?” The heat quickly eased and the light suddenly dimmed. Klax cautiously moved his arm from his eyes. And let his eye lids split open a hair.
“Once the city has started, then may we return home and leave the leadership to others?” Klax staggered to his feet and looked above him. The sun shown warmly in a cloudless blue sky, a light breeze swept down from the desert dunes and the palm trees moved and the field of barley waved like a gently ocean of golden brown.
He could hear the songs of birds in the trees and the buzz of insects in the air. Klax shook his head, his eyes felt gritty and swollen, disbelief grounded in rationality already flooding in to replace an impossible vision. He bent down, retrieved his hoe and slowly walked back to his compound. A vision? He must be crazy, a matter of heat stroke probably. The more he thought of it, the crazier it became, but he smiled. It would make a great story to tell.
He walked across the fields, pas the sheep pens and up to the home they had made. Crazy to even think of leaving this place. Klax dropped his hoe in disbelief as he stepped through the doorway. His arms began to tremble and he had to lean against the doorpost for support. Choltai was hurrying about the room, packing goods as quickly as she could. She was dressed in her traveling clothes of sturdy linen and wool. Already most of the kitchen was packed into chests. “Klax!” She yelled as she ran to him and threw her arms about his neck. “I saw. I was sitting in the weaving room and he told me in a vision. Klax, I saw your vision of the city and it was beautiful! Bring the camels so they can be loaded and then by the time you collect the sheep I will be ready to leave.”
“You saw it then? My dear sweet wife, we will have to leave this simple life behind.”
She could see the pain and loss in his eyes and knew how much liked being a hermit and how he loved his Oasis and kissed him softly. “Our kingdom will be far greater than this, and we have the blessing and direction of Ra himself. Go husband, we have no time to waste. The Others will be arriving soon and we must be ready for them.”

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:12, 5 December 2009
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	She could see the pain and loss in his eyes and knew how much he liked being a hermit and how he loved his Oasis and kissed him softly. “Our kingdom will be far greater than this, and we have the blessing and direction of Ra himself. Go husband, we have no time to waste. The others will be arriving soon and we must be ready for them.”		She could see the pain and loss in his eyes and knew how much he liked being a hermit and how he loved his Oasis and kissed him softly. “Our kingdom will be far greater than this, and we have the blessing and direction of Ra himself. Go husband, we have no time to waste. The others will be arriving soon and we must be ready for them.”
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		+	====[[Guilds/Kingdom_Of_Ra\|Home]]====

@@ Line 3: / Line 3: @@
 The name sounded softly, almost a question whispered on the hot desert breeze and a lone man standing in a field of golden barley straightened and turned around, a worn hoe held in his large calloused hands. Of more than just common height, his wide back and strong, bare chest had been turned to the color of bronze by the sun and glistened in beads and rivulets of sweat. He lifted a powerful arm to shield his soft golden brown eyes with a strong hand and squinting under the bright noonday sun as he scanned his fields.
-"Hello?" he called out, puzzled when he saw nobody nearby to have called his name. All around were the nearly ripe barley fields and the empty hills of green beyond that.  Isolated in a remote oasis of the eastern desert, visitors seldom came to their home and never without being seen long before their arrival. Carefully he scanned the hills thinking perhaps he had caught the last tendrils of a shouted name from afar but they were empty.  Then he grinned a devilish grin as the obvious answer took hold and he thought of his beautiful wife.  It would be like her to hide in the tall stalks and tease him, her emerald green eyes sparkling in fun and amusement.  She knew soft whispers from her full cherry red lips carried on the wind would drive him crazy and he would abandon the crops to chase her through the fields and hills of their homestead.
+"Hello?" he called out, puzzled when he saw nobody nearby to have called his name. All around were the nearly ripe barley fields and the empty hills of green beyond that.  Isolated in a remote oasis of the eastern desert, visitors seldom came to here and never without being seen long before their arrival. Carefully he scanned the hills thinking perhaps he had caught the last tendrils of a shouted name from afar but they were empty.  Then he grinned a devilish grin as the obvious answer took hold and he thought of his beautiful wife.  It would be like her to hide in the tall stalks and tease him, her emerald green eyes sparkling in fun and amusement.  She knew soft whispers from her full cherry red lips carried on the wind would drive him crazy and he would abandon the crops to chase her through the fields and hills of their homestead.
 "Choltai, my sweet and wonderful wife! I know you are out there but I do not have time to play today.  If the weeds are not taken care of, the crops will be ruined.  I promise tonight I will be attentive. Perhaps after a cooling swim, we will share a light dinner on the shore of our lake and watch the stars as they dance across the midnight sky."  He listened carefully and watched the movement of the barley for signs of her but there were no hints: no flashes of red or blue silks, no whiff of soft perfume, and no other indications as to where she might be hiding.  He walked a few steps to check a suspicious tremble of the barley but it was nothing. He rubbed his chin in thought, the close cropped beard making a tight, thin line along his jaw until it filled out to cover his chin and upper lip.  She was playing a serious game today and it would not be easy to flush her out or convince her to postpone.  He couldn't help but notice his heart was beating a bit faster at the thought of her, but he really did need to get the work done.  He walked back to his place in the field and returned to his weeding. Slowly his mind drifted from thoughts of the farm, the multitude of chores before him and even his loving wife, emptying of any thoughts as his arms mechanically began to weed.
@@ Line 19: / Line 19: @@
 "Klax."
-His name was spoken with a voice familiar and yet not, a tone with more insistence in it, almost a command.  He spun about, knowing the person must be there behind him but all he saw was a filed of barley.
+His name was spoken with a voice familiar and yet not, a tone with more insistence in it, almost a command.  He spun about, knowing the person must be there behind him but all he saw was a field of barley.
 "Friend" he called out, "I hear you call my name but I cannot find you.  Speak and I will greet you." Klax took a few steps in a random direction, his arms open as he looked all around.
@@ Line 25: / Line 25: @@
 Klax stood expectantly but he still could see nothing out of the ordinary. The fine hairs on his neck raised and his flesh tingled, a sixth sense of impending danger that had served him very well for years. Carefully he bent to retrieve his hoe without lowering his eyes, holding the gopher wood pole across his chest like a footman’s staff at the ready. If the voice was not of a friend, then likely a voice of an enemy and so he prepared. He stood at the ready, feeling, sensing while his hand griped the shaft tightly but all he could feel was the heat of the sun on his head, back and shoulders.
-He squinted into the distance, the bright glare of the sun reflecting off the distant sand dunes hurting his eyes with the glare. The heat from above seemed to slowly grow greater as he stood in his field, the light getting brighter and brighter. It felt like the very sun was moving down and closer to him. The heat and brightness had grown enough in his mind that he finally lifted his eyes up from the hills to verify the sun had not lowered over his head and found the light was more than he could shield with his hand. The heat quickly grew hotter into a heat that was more intense than the forge of his compound, burning his back and shoulders. The light was so intense that closed eyes were not enough to shut out the burning rays. The heat was incredible and he fell to his knees and placed his hands over his eyes to shut out the light. His eyes burned with an intense searing white light that bored through his hands and eyelids and into his head. So bright was the light he was forced to lower his head to the ground and place his arms over his face, his eyes buried in the crook of his elbow.
+He squinted into the distance, the bright glare of the sun reflecting off the distant sand dunes hurting his eyes with the glare. The heat from above seemed to slowly grow greater as he stood in his field, the light getting brighter and brighter. It felt like the very sun was moving down and closer to him. The heat and brightness had grown enough in his mind that he finally lifted his eyes up from the hills to verify the sun had not lowered over his head and found the light was more than he could shield with his hand. The heat quickly grew into a heat that was more intense than the forge of his compound, burning his back and shoulders. The light was so intense that closed eyes were not enough to shut out the burning rays. The heat was incredible and he fell to his knees and placed his hands over his eyes to shut out the light. His eyes burned with an intense searing white light that bored through his hands and eyelids and into his head. So bright was the light he was forced to lower his head to the ground and place his arms over his face, his eyes buried in the crook of his elbow.
 “Klax!” The ground trembled with the sound of his name, his very bones quivered. “Klax, I am that gave the land of Egypt. I am that gave the sky above and the waters of the Nile. I am that gave you breath. Hear me and obey.”
@@ Line 33: / Line 33: @@
 "The people of Egypt have grown few and scattered in this land of milk and honey that I gave them, forgetting the land of their fathers and the gods. They grow quiet and falter in their glory and have abandoned their purpose. I grow dismayed and disappointed in them.”
-“My wife and I have not forgotten!” Klax cried out in protest. “We toil in brick and flax daily, following the paths set before us. Our Oasis does well and lacks little to the glory of the gods. We have tried to please, but grant us time and we will redouble our efforts and build you a grand temple.”
+“My wife and I have not forgotten!” Klax cried out in protest. “We toil in brick and flax daily, following the paths set before us. Our Oasis does well and lacks little to the glory of the gods. We have tried to please, but, grant us time and we will redouble our efforts and build you a grand temple.”
 “NO!“ the answer came down on him as a physical blow, the impact nearly driving him flat to the ground. “All of Egypt is my temple and you have laid it to waste and abandonment. I see nothing but empty houses, vacant altars and crumbled buildings.”
@@ Line 39: / Line 39: @@
 “No?” Klax replied in questioning and trembling voice. “Then what can we do? We build all that we can. What would appease your anger and bring us once more your approval and blessing?”
-“You will establish for me a new Kingdom of Ra. I give to you the headwaters of the Nile and all the empty and abandoned lands and resources thereabouts. Gather your wife as your queen, bring your sheep and camels and all your household goods and travel back to the beginning. There build a city within my kingdom, a city to be known as one of equality for all. Temples and obelisks; ewers to bring water to the fields; mines; quarries and ovens; trades of all types and homes of all sizes. Once more fields of green and gold will cover the land. Each will have a position within the kingdom as gauged by their efforts, but none shall be banned or shunned for lack of speed. Each citizen shall contribute according to their stations and skills and be called the Children of Ra.”
+“You will establish for me a new Kingdom of Ra. I give to you the headwaters of the Nile and all the empty and abandoned lands and resources thereabouts. Gather your wife as your queen, bring your sheep and camels and all your household goods and travel back to the beginning. There, build a city within my kingdom, a city to be known as one of equality for all. Temples and obelisks; ewers to bring water to the fields; mines; quarries and ovens; trades of all types and homes of all sizes. Once more fields of green and gold will cover the land. Each will have a position within the kingdom as gauged by their efforts, but none shall be banned or shunned for lack of speed. Each citizen shall contribute according to their stations and skills and be called the Children of Ra.”
 “But I am not a Prince of Egypt to found a kingdom, nor from one of the great families of Egypt that can trace their history in Egypt to the beginning of time. I am nothing of import, neither of birth or gold. I do not care for great crowds and social extravaganzas. Great One, I am nothing but a hermit of the deep desert, happy in my solitude. I cannot do this.”
@@ Line 45: / Line 45: @@
 “You will establish a new kingdom where the excitement and dedication of the citizens will sing and ring in the air, a pleasing sound to my ears."
-“I am not worthy of this. I am not ready. They will scoff or call us heretics. We will be charged as rebels, greedy or power crazed . They will say we overstep, no, trample on the history and law of the land.”
+“I am not worthy of this. I am not ready. They will scoff or call us heretics. We will be charged as rebels, greedy, and power crazed . They will say we overstep, no, trample on the history and law of the land.”
 “Klax, you are a weaver of stories and teller of tales. In those tales I have heard your passion of belief and give thought to my anger and disappointment. You remind me of what could be, of what I intended. I have looked into your heart, and seen your visions. Dream of my kingdom and then build it.”
@@ Line 53: / Line 53: @@
 “I have chosen you and your wife of all those of Egypt. Do you have so little faith? I will send you aid, Klax. To others I will give a similar visions of a new kingdom. The worthy, the true of heart and spirit will hear and they will come. They will come to be nobles, councilors, ministers, tradesman and peasants of the kingdom. Others that you find worthy, you will invite. One will invite another and the word will spread and once more a kingdom worthy of my name shall shine in the land of Egypt.”
-“And once they have come, we may return to the quiet of the Oasis?” The heat quickly eased and the light suddenly dimmed. Klax cautiously moved his arm from his eyes and let his eyelids split open a hair.
+“And once they have come, we may return to the quiet of the Oasis?” The heat quickly eased and the light suddenly dimmed. Klax cautiously moved his arm from his eyes and let his eyelids split open a hair.  “Once the city has started, then may we return home and leave the leadership to others?” Klax staggered to his feet and looked above him.
-“Once the city has started, then may we return home and leave the leadership to others?” Klax staggered to his feet and looked above him.
+The sun shown warmly in a cloudless blue sky, a light breeze swept down from the desert dunes and the palm trees moved and the field of barley waved like a gentle ocean of golden brown.  He could hear the songs of birds in the trees and the buzz of insects in the air. Klax shook his head, his eyes felt gritty and swollen.  Disbelief grounded in rationality were already flooding in to replace an impossible vision. He bent down to retrieve his hoe and slowly walked back to his compound.
-The sun shown warmly in a cloudless blue sky, a light breeze swept down from the desert dunes and the palm trees moved and the field of barley waved like a gently ocean of golden brown.  He could hear the songs of birds in the trees and the buzz of insects in the air. Klax shook his head, his eyes felt gritty and swollen.  Disbelief grounded in rationality were already flooding in to replace an impossible vision. He bent down to retrieve his hoe and slowly walked back to his compound.
+A vision? He must be crazy, a matter of heat stroke probably. The more he thought of it, the crazier it became, but he smiled. It would make a great story to tell.  He walked across the fields, past the sheep pens and up to the home he had made with his wife. It was crazy to even think of leaving this place. Klax dropped his hoe in disbelief when he stepped through the doorway. His arms began to tremble and he had to lean against the doorpost for support.
 Choltai was hurrying about the room, packing goods as quickly as she could. She was dressed in her traveling clothes of sturdy linen and wool. Already most of the kitchen was packed into chests.
-“Klax!” She yelled as she ran to him and threw her arms about his neck. “I saw. I was sitting in the weaving room and he told me in a vision. Klax, I saw your vision of the city and it was beautiful! Bring the camels so they can be loaded and then by the time you collect the sheep I will be ready to leave.”
+“Klax!” She cried as she ran to him and threw her arms about his neck. “I saw. I was sitting in the weaving room and he told me in a vision. Klax, I saw your vision of the city and it was beautiful! Bring the camels so they can be loaded and then by the time you collect the sheep I will be ready to leave.”
 “You saw it then? My dear sweet wife, we will have to leave this simple life behind.”
 She could see the pain and loss in his eyes and knew how much he liked being a hermit and how he loved his Oasis and kissed him softly. “Our kingdom will be far greater than this, and we have the blessing and direction of Ra himself. Go husband, we have no time to waste. The others will be arriving soon and we must be ready for them.”

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 "Klax."
-The name sounded softly, almost a question whispered on the hot desert breeze and a lone man standing in a field of golden barley straightened and turned around, a worn hoe held in his large calloused hands. Of more than just common height, his wide back and strong, bare chest had been turned to the color of bronze by the sun and glistened in beads and rivulets of sweat. He lifted a powerful arm and shielded his soft golden brown eyes with a strong hand and squinting under the bright noonday sun as he scanned his fields.
+The name sounded softly, almost a question whispered on the hot desert breeze and a lone man standing in a field of golden barley straightened and turned around, a worn hoe held in his large calloused hands. Of more than just common height, his wide back and strong, bare chest had been turned to the color of bronze by the sun and glistened in beads and rivulets of sweat. He lifted a powerful arm to shield his soft golden brown eyes with a strong hand and squinting under the bright noonday sun as he scanned his fields.
 "Hello?" he called out, puzzled when he saw nobody nearby to have called his name. All around were the nearly ripe barley fields and the empty hills of green beyond that.  Isolated in a remote oasis of the eastern desert, visitors seldom came to their home and never without being seen long before their arrival. Carefully he scanned the hills thinking perhaps he had caught the last tendrils of a shouted name from afar but they were empty.  Then he grinned a devilish grin as the obvious answer took hold and he thought of his beautiful wife.  It would be like her to hide in the tall stalks and tease him, her emerald green eyes sparkling in fun and amusement.  She knew soft whispers from her full cherry red lips carried on the wind would drive him crazy and he would abandon the crops to chase her through the fields and hills of their homestead.
-"Choltai, my sweet and wonderful wife! I know you are out there but I do not have time to play today.  If the weeds are not taken care of, the crops will be ruined.  I promise tonight I will be attentive. Perhaps after a cooling swim, we will share a light dinner on the shore of our lake and watch the stars as they dance across the midnight sky."  He listened carefully and watched the movement of the barley for signs of her but there were no hints, no flashes of red or blue silks, and no other indications as to where she might be hiding.  He walked a few steps to check a suspicious tremble of the barly but it was nothing. He rubbed his chin in thought, the close cropped beard making a tight, thin line along his jaw until it filled out to cover his chin and upper lip.
+"Choltai, my sweet and wonderful wife! I know you are out there but I do not have time to play today.  If the weeds are not taken care of, the crops will be ruined.  I promise tonight I will be attentive. Perhaps after a cooling swim, we will share a light dinner on the shore of our lake and watch the stars as they dance across the midnight sky."  He listened carefully and watched the movement of the barley for signs of her but there were no hints: no flashes of red or blue silks, no whiff of soft perfume, and no other indications as to where she might be hiding.  He walked a few steps to check a suspicious tremble of the barley but it was nothing. He rubbed his chin in thought, the close cropped beard making a tight, thin line along his jaw until it filled out to cover his chin and upper lip.  She was playing a serious game today and it would not be easy to flush her out or convince her to postpone.  He couldn't help but notice his heart was beating a bit faster at the thought of her, but he really did need to get the work done.  He walked back to his place in the field and returned to his weeding. Slowly his mind drifted from thoughts of the farm, the multitude of chores before him and even his loving wife, emptying of any thoughts as his arms mechanically began to weed.
 "Klax."
-His head bolted up suddenly, eyes darting across the hot and dusty fields. His name was spoken louder, almost at his shoulder, but still it was quiet.  He was sure her attempt to disguise her voice was meant to sound mysterious and distant but he could tell she was nearby.  It was unlike her to drag this out so long and he wanted to play at her own game and ignore her, making her come out to run to him and throw her arms around his neck before he noticed her.  He would stick to his weeding until then but he also knew in the end it would be hopeless.  With deliberate actions he pretended to weed again, the blade clomping into the dirt with monotonous regularity, small shuffling steps moving him forward every few strokes.
+His head bolted up suddenly, eyes darting across the hot and dusty fields. His name was spoken louder, almost at his shoulder, but otherwise it was quiet.  He was sure her attempt to disguise her voice was meant to sound mysterious and distant but he could tell she was nearby.  It was unlike her to drag this out so long and he wanted to play at her own game and ignore her- making her come out to run to him and throw her arms around his neck before he noticed her.  He would stick to his weeding until then but he also knew in the end it would be hopeless.  With deliberate actions he pretended to weed again, the blade clomping into the dirt with monotonous regularity, small shuffling steps moving him forward every few strokes.
-He laughed and cried out to her,  "Okay, YOU WIN!  But when I catch you, you will pay double my hot-blooded minx.  You will have to visit the altar an extra time tonight and we will have to pray we get one more day to weed."  Klax stood legs apart with his hands on his narrow hips, waiting for her to bolt so the chase could begin, but he waited and waited for nothing.
+He suddenly dropped the hoe and spun, taking a few quick steps, his arms ready to grab her before she could run, but she wasn't there.  He searched quickly, running quickly from place to place, sure she was there , giggling at her cleverness and his fumbling.  Nothing.  He stopped and studied the fields, weeding finally and totally gone from his mind.  He laughed and cried out to her,  "Okay, YOU WIN!  But when I catch you, you will pay double my hot-blooded minx.  You will have to visit the altar an extra time tonight and we will have to pray we get one more day to weed."  Klax stood legs apart with his hands on his narrow hips, waiting for her to bolt so the chase could begin, but he waited, and waited for nothing.
 "Come, Choltai," he called out. "The fun in this game is running thin.  Why do you torture me so?  Shall I weed our fields today or not?"
-As he watched and waited for her to rise, the breeze abruptly and completely stopped, the palms swaying and even the barley stopped moving. It was odd and a strange feeling began to wash over him. Nothing moved and nothing sounded as a terrible, heavy hush covered the land.  Even the ever present buzzing of insects ceased and the quiet filled his ears as he listened, waiting to hear anything.  He looked up, searching for signs of a pending desert storm but the sky was a deep cloudless blue, the white orb of the sun hanging directly overhead.
+As he watched and waited for her to rise, the breeze abruptly and completely stopped, the palms stilled and even the barley stopped moving. It was odd and a strange feeling that began to wash over him. Nothing moved and nothing sounded as a terrible, heavy hush covered the land.  Even the ever present buzzing of insects ceased and the quiet filled his ears as he listened, waiting to hear anything.  He looked up, searching for signs of a pending desert storm but the sky was a deep cloudless blue, the white orb of the sun hanging directly overhead.
 "Klax."
@@ Line 43: / Line 39: @@
 “No?” Klax replied in questioning and trembling voice. “Then what can we do? We build all that we can. What would appease your anger and bring us once more your approval and blessing?”
-“You will establish for me a new Kingdom of Ra. I give to you the headwaters of the Nile and all the empty and abandoned lands and resources thereabouts. Gather your wife as your queen, bring your sheep and camels and all your household goods and travel back to the beginning. There build a city within my kingdom, a city to be known as one of equality for all. Temples and obelisks; owers to bring water to the fields; mines; quarries and ovens; trades of all types and homes of all sizes. Once more fields of green and gold will cover the land. Each will have a position within the kingdom as gauged by their efforts, but none shall be banned or shunned for lack of speed. Each citizen shall contribute according to their stations and skills and be called the Children of Ra.”
+“You will establish for me a new Kingdom of Ra. I give to you the headwaters of the Nile and all the empty and abandoned lands and resources thereabouts. Gather your wife as your queen, bring your sheep and camels and all your household goods and travel back to the beginning. There build a city within my kingdom, a city to be known as one of equality for all. Temples and obelisks; ewers to bring water to the fields; mines; quarries and ovens; trades of all types and homes of all sizes. Once more fields of green and gold will cover the land. Each will have a position within the kingdom as gauged by their efforts, but none shall be banned or shunned for lack of speed. Each citizen shall contribute according to their stations and skills and be called the Children of Ra.”
 “But I am not a Prince of Egypt to found a kingdom, nor from one of the great families of Egypt that can trace their history in Egypt to the beginning of time. I am nothing of import, neither of birth or gold. I do not care for great crowds and social extravaganzas. Great One, I am nothing but a hermit of the deep desert, happy in my solitude. I cannot do this.”
@@ Line 51: / Line 47: @@
 “I am not worthy of this. I am not ready. They will scoff or call us heretics. We will be charged as rebels, greedy or power crazed . They will say we overstep, no, trample on the history and law of the land.”
-“Klax, you are a weaver of stories and teller of tales. In those tales I have heard your passion of belief and give thought to my anger and disapointment. You remind me of what could be, of what I intended. I have looked into your heart, and seen your visions. Dream of my kingdom and then build it.”
+“Klax, you are a weaver of stories and teller of tales. In those tales I have heard your passion of belief and give thought to my anger and disappointment. You remind me of what could be, of what I intended. I have looked into your heart, and seen your visions. Dream of my kingdom and then build it.”
 “But is too much! If I work from dusk to dawn and then dawn to dusk, it would be a task greater than I could do. It would kill my wife in the trying, her hands broken and bleeding and then I would die of a broken heart.  Please!  Give this task to another.”

@@ Line 3: / Line 3: @@
 The name sounded softly, almost a question whispered on the hot desert breeze and a lone man standing in a field of golden barley straightened and turned around, a worn hoe held in his large calloused hands. Of more than just common height, his wide back and strong, bare chest had been turned to the color of bronze by the sun and glistened in beads and rivulets of sweat. He lifted a powerful arm and shielded his soft golden brown eyes with a strong hand and squinting under the bright noonday sun as he scanned his fields.
-"Hello?" he called out, puzzled when he saw nobody nearby to have called his name. All about him were the nearly ripe barley fields and the empty hills of green beyond that.  Isolated in a remote oasis of the eastern desert, visitors seldom came to their home and never without being seen long before their arrival. Carefully he scanned the hills thinking perhaps he had caught the last tendrils of a shouted name from afar but they were empty.  Then he grinned a devilish grin as the obvious answer took hold and he thought of his beautiful wife.  It would be like her to hide in the tall stalks and tease him, her emerald green eyes sparkling in fun and amusement.  She knew soft whispers from her full cherry red lips carried on the wind would drive him crazy and he would abandon the crops to chase her through the fields and hills of their homestead.
+"Hello?" he called out, puzzled when he saw nobody nearby to have called his name. All around were the nearly ripe barley fields and the empty hills of green beyond that.  Isolated in a remote oasis of the eastern desert, visitors seldom came to their home and never without being seen long before their arrival. Carefully he scanned the hills thinking perhaps he had caught the last tendrils of a shouted name from afar but they were empty.  Then he grinned a devilish grin as the obvious answer took hold and he thought of his beautiful wife.  It would be like her to hide in the tall stalks and tease him, her emerald green eyes sparkling in fun and amusement.  She knew soft whispers from her full cherry red lips carried on the wind would drive him crazy and he would abandon the crops to chase her through the fields and hills of their homestead.
 "Choltai, my sweet and wonderful wife! I know you are out there but I do not have time to play today.  If the weeds are not taken care of, the crops will be ruined.  I promise tonight I will be attentive. Perhaps after a cooling swim, we will share a light dinner on the shore of our lake and watch the stars as they dance across the midnight sky."  He listened carefully and watched the movement of the barley for signs of her but there were no hints, no flashes of red or blue silks, and no other indications as to where she might be hiding.  He walked a few steps to check a suspicious tremble of the barly but it was nothing. He rubbed his chin in thought, the close cropped beard making a tight, thin line along his jaw until it filled out to cover his chin and upper lip.

@@ Line 11: / Line 11: @@
 "Klax."
-His head bolted up suddenly, pulled back to the hot and dusty fields. His name was spoken louder, almost at his shoulder, but still it was quiet.  He was sure her attempt to disguise her voice was meant to sound mysterious and distant but he could tell she was nearby.  It was unlike her to drag this out so long and he wanted to play at her own game and ignore her, making her come out to run to him and throw her arms around his neck before he noticed her.  He would stick to his weeding until then but he also knew in the end it would be hopeless.  With deliberate actions he pretended to weed again, the blade clomping into the dirt with monotonous regularity, small shuffling steps moving him forward every few strokes.
+His head bolted up suddenly, eyes darting across the hot and dusty fields. His name was spoken louder, almost at his shoulder, but still it was quiet.  He was sure her attempt to disguise her voice was meant to sound mysterious and distant but he could tell she was nearby.  It was unlike her to drag this out so long and he wanted to play at her own game and ignore her, making her come out to run to him and throw her arms around his neck before he noticed her.  He would stick to his weeding until then but he also knew in the end it would be hopeless.  With deliberate actions he pretended to weed again, the blade clomping into the dirt with monotonous regularity, small shuffling steps moving him forward every few strokes.
 He suddenly dropped the hoe and spun, taking a few quick steps, his arms ready to grab her before she could run, but she wasn't there.  He searched quickly, running quickly from place to place, sure she was there , giggling at her cleverness and his fumbling.  Nothing.  He stopped and studied the fields, weeding finally and totally gone from his mind.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 "Choltai?" he called out, puzzled when he saw nobody nearby to have called his name. All about him was the nearly ripe barley fields and the empty hills of green beyond that.  Isolated in a remote oasis of the eastern desert, visitors seldom came to their home and never without being seen long before their arrival. Carefully he scanned the hills thinking perhaps he had caught the last tendrils of a shouted name from afar but they were empty.  Then he grinned a devilish grin as the obvious answer took hold and he thought of his beautiful wife.  It would be like her to hide in the tall stalks and tease him, her emerald green eyes sparkling in fun and amusement.  She knew soft whispers from her full cherry red lips carried on the wind would drive him crazy and he would abandon the fields to chase her through the fields and hills of their homestead.
@@ Line 30: / Line 29: @@
 “What would you have of me?” Klax cried out, lifting one hand out in supplication.
-"The people of Egypt have grown scattered and few in this land of milk and honey that I gave them, forgetting the land of their fathers and the gods. They grow quiet and falter in their glory and have abandoned their purpose. I grow dismayed and disappointed in them.”
+"The people of Egypt have grown few and scattered in this land of milk and honey that I gave them, forgetting the land of their fathers and the gods. They grow quiet and falter in their glory and have abandoned their purpose. I grow dismayed and disappointed in them.”
 “My wife and I have not forgotten!” Klax cried out in protest. “We toil in brick and flax daily, following the paths set before us. Our Oasis does well and lacks little to the glory of the gods. We have tried to please, but grant us time and we will redouble our efforts and build you a grand temple.”
-“NO!“ the answer came down on him as a physical blow, the impact nearly driving him flat to the ground. “All of Egypt is my temple and you have laid it to waste and abandonment. I see nothing but empty houses, vacant alters and crumbling buildings.”
+“NO!“ the answer came down on him as a physical blow, the impact nearly driving him flat to the ground. “All of Egypt is my temple and you have laid it to waste and abandonment. I see nothing but empty houses, vacant altars and crumbled buildings.”
 “No?” Klax replied in questioning and trembling voice. “Then what can we do? We build all that we can. What would appease your anger and bring us once more your approval and blessing?”
-“You will establish for me a new Kingdom of Ra. I give to you the headwaters of the Nile and all the empty and abandoned lands and resources thereabouts. Gather your wife as your queen, bring your sheep and camels and all your household goods and travel back to the beginning. There build a city within my kingdom, a city to be known as one of equality for all. Temples and Obelisks, owers to bring water to the fields, mines, quarries and ovens, trades of all types and homes of all sizes. Once more fields of green and gold will cover the land. Each will have a position within the kingdom as gauged by their efforts, but none shall be banned or shunned for lack of speed. Each citizen shall contribute according to their stations and skills and be called the Children of Ra.”
-“But I am not a Prince of Egypt to found a kingdom, nor of one of the great families of Egypt that can trace their history in Egypt to the beginning of time. I am nothing of import, neither of birth or gold. I do not care for great crowds and social extravaganzas. Great one, I am nothing but a hermit of the deep desert, happy in my solitude. I cannot do this.”
+“You will establish for me a new Kingdom of Ra. I give to you the headwaters of the Nile and all the empty and abandoned lands and resources thereabouts. Gather your wife as your queen, bring your sheep and camels and all your household goods and travel back to the beginning. There build a city within my kingdom, a city to be known as one of equality for all. Temples and obelisks; owers to bring water to the fields; mines; quarries and ovens; trades of all types and homes of all sizes. Once more fields of green and gold will cover the land. Each will have a position within the kingdom as gauged by their efforts, but none shall be banned or shunned for lack of speed. Each citizen shall contribute according to their stations and skills and be called the Children of Ra.”
 “You shall establish a new kingdom where the excitement and dedication of the citizens will sing and ring in the air, a pleasing sound to my ears.
 “I am not worthy of this. I am not ready. They will scoff or call us heretics. We will be charged as rebels, greedy or power crazed . They will say we overstep, no, trample on the history and law of the land.”
 “Klax, You are a weaver of stories, and teller of tales. In those tales I have heard your passion of belief and give thought to my anger and disapointment. You remind me of what could be, of what I intended. I have looked into your heart, and seen your visions. Dream of my kingdom and then build it.”
 “But is too much! If I work from dusk to dawn and then dawn to dusk, it would be a task greater than I could do. It would kill my wife in the trying, her hands broken and bleeding and then I would die of a broken heart. Please give this task to another.”
 “I have chosen you and your wife of all those of Egypt. Do you have so little faith? I will send you aid Klax. To others I will give a similar visions of a new Kingdom. The worthy, the true of heart and spirit will hear and they will come. They will come to be nobles, councilors, ministers, tradesman and peasants of the kingdom. Others that you find worthy, you will invite. One will invite another and the word will spread and once more a kingdom worthy of my name shall shine in the land of Egypt.”
 “And once they have come, we may return to the quiet of the Oasis?” The heat quickly eased and the light suddenly dimmed. Klax cautiously moved his arm from his eyes. And let his eye lids split open a hair.
 “Once the city has started, then may we return home and leave the leadership to others?” Klax staggered to his feet and looked above him. The sun shown warmly in a cloudless blue sky, a light breeze swept down from the desert dunes and the palm trees moved and the field of barley waved like a gently ocean of golden brown.
 He could hear the songs of birds in the trees and the buzz of insects in the air. Klax shook his head, his eyes felt gritty and swollen, disbelief grounded in rationality already flooding in to replace an impossible vision. He bent down, retrieved his hoe and slowly walked back to his compound. A vision? He must be crazy, a matter of heat stroke probably. The more he thought of it, the crazier it became, but he smiled. It would make a great story to tell.