User:Tibo

Before we get started I would like to warn that any and all material may be considered horribly, horribly inappropriate and/or not safe for anywhere.

I am not Stephen King, although I would say his books are only slightly less unique then mine.

Tibo, the Early Years

Early in his life in Egypt, Tibo was a noob like many others. It wasn't until he figured out the very useful skill of clicking on one self that he really took off. After that, it was mostly downhill until he met some great people in the land of Egypt. But my agent says I can't tell you that story so I suppose your going to have to settle for things of deep and/or humorous nature.

Humor

Humor is a double edged sword, on one hand some people think your funny... on the other some people think your not, and even might want to harm you. So I implore you, read with an open mind, an open heart, and gods darn it just be happy your alive to read my works. Oh... did I mention that I'm arrogant?

Glamazon.com Presents...

My (Other) Brain Behind the Wheel: Confessions of a Boyfriend

In this novel Mr. Frank Cartwright goes into his many misadventure with the oppisite sex. It's an attractive, humorous look at relationships that won't just won't pan out the way he wants. Here's a few excerpts:

From Chapter Six: Naomi; "Here we are again, it's the tenth day in a row with the commitment talk. Tell me this, tell me that. Why does she want to know anything? Just get with the taking off the clothes. God, do you really need to know my name?"

From Chapter Eleven: Julia; "I met Julia at church, she was a great girl. Beautiful face, great body, kinda a Jesus freak though. She always wore these black and white robes, never really understood why. Came off pretty fast though."

From Chapter Twenty: Wendy; "Now Wendy, I really loved Wendy, she understood me. We shared all the same interests: hiking, swimming, polo, watching baseball. It was all great, too good to be true. You know we were so alike we even had the same size adam's apple, I always thought that was great."

From Chapter Fifty-Five: Jennifer # 6; "Jenicoster, my pet name for her, was supposed to be a one night stand but her bed was one of those Sleep Numbers one and I just could not get up it was so relaxing."

You'll enjoy all those chapters and seventy more! This book is for anyone who has had even one relationship or more, you'll get a kick out of the crazy situations Frank gets into. And remember you can enjoy Mr. Cartwright's other books as well: STDs and Me, How to get into and out of a Three-way, and Outlook Express for Dummies.

Deep Stuff

If you are a man, this section is not for you. In fact it really shouldn't be here... us men never have feelings nor do we express them. So I ask you men, look away. Women, hello! Please read everything here, it's great!

Ode to the Vigil

A tale in the desert is only so sweet

As the cactus sap you suffer to eat We lit a fire to please our gods But what shall they want, we were at odds A crash of thunder, a spark of light We all then did look up in fright Isis, Ra, Osiris all there It was only then we began to fear No wrath did come, only feelings of joy The gods wanted goods, and us to employ We took off as fast as our feet hit ground To get all the goods we had gathered and found Silt, lime, charcoal and more Carrots, bricks, and cut stones galore We needed fish and needed them fast We sent out twenty souls to catch and cast They asked for a jewel as blue as the sky A sapphire we had and would not deny Our stores were vast and we were getting lax Who knew the gods would ask for rotten flax A crisis averted, the gods still unsated We offered up Tibo, and they were elated Faster and faster their demands came It would seem this was no longer a game Demands came with dire, they needed more ore Nobody even wondered what they needed it for Avast a diamond we just couldn't find And the gods no longer paid us any mind In the end the Vigil lasted for days And the gods did finally give us our praise.